lunes, 21 de mayo de 2007

Domicidio

TERCERA PALABRA DEL CONCURSO EXONARIO

(Autor: Manón)
(Blog: Chapaleando barro)

Acción de dejar que la casa se destruya por el desgaste ocasionado por el tiempo, el uso o abuso, la acción, la falta de acción o la desidia.


Los domicidas (personas que dejan que paulatinamente su casa se destruya) van “solucionando” roturas con arreglos provisorios para siempre y jamás cambian un cuerito, como por ejemplo:

• el tanque del inodoro sin tapa (para tirar la cadena en la casa del domicida uno se tiene que mojar la mano y meterla en ese agujero negro para luego encastrar la sopapa en el orificio así no queda perdiendo, y a su vez sosteniendo el flotador en alto con un cepillo de dientes en desuso para que no se caiga y no se inunde el baño.


• Las correas de las persianas con un lápiz entre la misma y el pestillo para que no se baje sola. O en el peor de los casos –correa cortada- atada a una silla u objeto estático para que no se vaya adentro del taparollos.


• Los picaportes de las casas de los domicidas casi nunca funcionan y tienen algún alambrecito en donde debiera ir un clavito para que no falsee.


• En las casas moribundas de los domicidas los diarios prolijamente enrollados funcionan como burletes para amortiguar la ventisca.


• Las canillas tienen un trapo enroscado para que no se escuche el goteo incesante.


• La puerta del horno está sostenida por una silla para que no se venga abajo.


• El domicida hace años se baña bajo el chorro de una ducha sin florete.

• Las paredes de la casa descascararon dejando un muestrario de colores de antiquísimas pinturas.


53 comentarios:

<—X— dijo...

Brillante... demasiado cierto...

Manón dijo...

ahora que lo releo está muy redundante la definición: se repite la palabra acción, si bien quise dejar en claro que era tan domicida el que destroza con premeditación y alevosia como el que deja que el tiempo se encargue y no mueve un dedo.

demás estaba decir, aunque lo digo ahora, que el perfil de un domicida es precozmente detectado ante las puertas de su casa: el timbre hace tanto que no funciona que ni cartelito tiene porque para qué "si ya lo sabe todo el mundo".

ahora si,
saludo atentamente.
Manón

Mariana dijo...

me encantó
especialmente porque conozco mucha gente a la que le pasa eso con el inodoro
y gente que cocina trabando la puerta del horno con un escobillón a presión contra la pared
que se baña con un calefón a punto de incendiar su camisa
y bueno
lo de las correas de las persianas es típica.


los domicidas en potencia apagan sus cigarrillos en el piso parquet

Chinita Jodida dijo...

Excelente definición! Hace tiempo que mi vocabulario la estaba necesitando, gracias!

Mantis dijo...

Es muy buena, en serio. La macana es que puede llegar a ganar habiendo sido la tercera.

Voy a inventar una que rime con "roncha": no va a haber forma, si no.

Laura Berra dijo...

Excelente, en el fondo todos somos domicidas.

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